Truth or Dare with the Wimpy Kid Characters
by GreekHuntress
Summary: The characters from Diary of a Wimpy Kid play truth or dare! (Discontinued.)
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, I need people to help me out with this fanfiction. It's a truth or dare thing, and five truths/dares make up a chapter. You can also set a record for how many truths and dares you submit AT ONE TIME.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Diary of a Wimpy Kid characters. I own their responses to the dares and truths, and a few of the dares/truths. I will let you know if a dare/truth is someone else's idea.**

Greg- I dare you to tell Rodrick your crush.

Greg: WHAT THE HE-

Mom: Gregory Heffley!

Greg:-ck.

Rodrick: Yes!

Greg: Oh well. Fine. Holly Hills.

Rodrick: HA HA! I will go tell her about it right-

GH: Sorry, Rodrick. Everything is confidential in here.

Rodrick: WHAT THE F-

Mom: Ahem.

Rodrick: Uhh, flip?

Greg: *starts singing a happy song*

Rowley- I ask you, what is your most embarrassing childhood memory?

Rowley: Umm…

Greg: Oh! I know!

GH: Greg, is your name Rowley?

Greg: No.

Rowley: mumblemumble.

GH: Speak up.

Rowley: When I ate the Cheese, okay?

Everyone: *screams and runs away*

Rodrick- I dare you to play Manny's Discovering the Alphabet video game.

Rodrick: No way!

Greg: HECK YEAH!

Manny: Agree with Bubby.

Greg: Don't call me that!

GH: Rodrick…

Rodrick: *starts video game torture*

Video Game: What comes after two and rhymes with 'tree?'

Rodrick: SAVE ME!

GH: *in happy video game voice* Wrong. You lose. However, it did rhyme with tree. Good job!

Greg- I dare you to tell everyone in the school that your brother calls you Bubby.

Greg: NOOOOO!

Rodrick: YEEEEEEEEEEEES!

GH: Rodrick, shut up.

Greg: *shuffles off to school* Um, I am Greg, also known as Bubby by my little brother.

Kids from school: *laugh uncontrollably*

Holly- I dare you to throw away your purse and everything in it.

Holly: NEVER!

GH: Okay, I'll do it for you!

Holly: *flings her purse away from GreekHuntress, resulting in it flying into a conveniently placed trash can*

Holly: *rushes over to trash can to save her stuff*

**So I hope you were laughing so that people gave you funny looks ;) Have fun! Look on my profile for the current truths/dares record! Try not to kill me, this is a dangerous occupation.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! I'm back! Even though it's dangerous, this is still really fun!**

FantasyRW14 had 2 dares.

Greg- I dare you to go to school naked.

Greg: N-n-no! I can't do that!

GH: Okay, Greg, maybe you can have your underwear. But you _will_ have an extra-evil dare later to make up for it.

Greg: *goes off to school unhappily after removing all clothes but his underwear*

Greg: *comes back still unhappily, in fact, if possible, even more so*

Greg: Thank you for nothing, FantasyRW14!

GH: Thanks for reviewing though!

Rodrick- I dare you to ask out your crush wearing a Cinderella dress and very high heels.

Rodrick: WHAT? WHO DARES TO TORTURE ME LIKE THIS?

GH: Um, FantasyRW14?

Rodrick: Hey! I don't have a Cinderella dress! Phew!

Mom: I have one right here!

Rodrick: MOM!

Mom: And a pair of high heels too!

Rodrick: *very angrily walks off, unsteadily balancing on his high heels*

_At some girl's house five minutes later…_

Rodrick: *knocks on door*

Some Girl (because I have no idea who Rodrick likes): *opens door* Um, Rodrick, is that you?

Rodrick: Yes.

Some Girl: What do you want? We aren't having any auditions for a _Cinderella _movie at my house.

Rodrick: Um, I was wondering, will you go out with me?

Some Girl: NO! *slams door in Rodrick's face*

GH: That went… less than well.

Greg: We have a common enemy! FantasyRW14!

Rodrick: Shut up, Greg.

Okay, this dare is mine.

Greg-

Greg: WHY ME? WHY ME?

GH: Um, Greg, I haven't even said your dare yet.

Greg: Oh.

GH: Anyways…

Greg- I dare you to eat a worm that has been rolled in dirt.

Greg: I was right. WHY ME?

Manny: I have worm for Bubby! *holds out disgusting slimy worm with a lot of dirt covering it*

Greg: Oh, yeah, thanks a lot, Manny.

Manny: You're welcome, Bubby!

Greg: One, I was being sarcastic, Manny! And two, DON'T CALL ME THAT!

GH: Greg, stop stalling and eat the worm already!

Rodrick: The slimy, disgusting, wriggly, live, dirt-encrusted, soft, pink worm.

Greg: You know, you better shut up unless you want that picture of you in a Cinderella dress going on Facebook.

Rodrick: YOU TOOK A PICTURE OF ME?

GH: *glares meaningfully at Greg*

Greg: *finally eats worm, very quickly and nervously*

Greg: *moans*

Rodrick: That was pretty gross.

GH: Understatement of the century.

This dare and the truth after it are both mine as well.

Mom- I dare you to not dance while Rodrick plays your favorite song.

Mom: *sniffles*

Rodrick: *starts playing a song*

Mom: *twitches uncontrollably*

Rodrick: *starts to laugh and simultaneously lose control of the drums*

Rodrick: Sorry! It's just SO FUNNY!

GH: Well, I guess the dare is done. Good job, Mrs. Heffley!

Gramma- I ask you, who is your favorite grandchild?

Gramma: *starts to nervously glance at her three grandsons, who are all watching her expectantly*

Gramma: Oh, all right, it's MANNY! *runs out*

Greg: Well, it was pretty obvious. *sighs*

Rodrick: Hey!

**Let me know if you want the characters to have a specific response, or you yourself can have a guest appearance. Oh yeah, if you see a teenage girl being chased by fictional characters somewhere, that's probably me.**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is the first chapter I didn't have to submit any truths/dares! Cool! I also do not own Single Ladies or its lyrics, or anything of Linkin Park's.**

lobster raven22 had a dare and a truth.

Rodrick- I dare you to let Greg beat you up.

Rodrick: Sorry, that little twig couldn't beat me up if he tried, so go ahead.

GH: Well, just remember you can't fight back at all.

Greg: *happily starts to punch and kick ruthlessly*

Rodrick: *****winces* Ow!

Greg: *jabs Rodrick in the stomach with stiff fingers*

Rodrick: *gasps for breath* What the he-eck was that?

Greg: I saw it in a movie once!

GH: OK, that should be enough, Greg. Rodrick has two black eyes already, he doesn't need more.

Rodrick: That's my rock star eyeliner!

GH: *wipes off eyeliner* Nope. Greg got you pretty hard.

Rodrick: *tries to look at his own eyes* No way!

Mrs. Heffley- I ask you, do you regret having Rodrick?

Rodrick: *glares at his mother*

Mrs. Heffley: Um…

GH: Mrs. Heffley, you need to hurry up. I have some other dares I need to do. *makes sure that she has iPod with Single Ladies on it in her pocket*

Mrs. Heffley: Kind of. Especially when I see how much money he uses up on his cell phone.

Rodrick: *stomps off*

GH: Rodrick, come back! You'll really want to watch this next dare!

Rodrick: *comes back reluctantly*

dingo gone gone gone390 had one dare.

Greg- I dare you to dance to Single Ladies.

Greg: I don't want to.

VG23: If you don't do it, you aren't allowed to do the next dare, which believe me you'll enjoy.

Greg: Fine.

VG23: *connects ipod to speakers*

Ipod: All the single ladies, all the single ladies,

All the single ladies, all the single ladies,

All the single ladies, all the single ladies,

All the single ladies…

Greg: *starts doing a ridiculous dance thing that looks painful*

Everyone but Greg: *starts to laugh*

iPod: *finishes song and starts playing Given Up by Linkin Park*

GH: _I've given up, tell me what the bleep is wrong... with me! _Uh... whoops. *turns off iPod* Rodrick, turn off that video camera!

KatoFan15 had two dares.

Greg- I dare you- oh, wait. Everybody leave the room real fast. Okay. I dare you to give Rodrick the Cheese Touch.

Greg: *grins evilly*

GH: Okay, everyone come back in!

Greg: Come on Rodrick, I want to show you something.

Rodrick: *follows Greg to school, where the half-eaten Cheese sits on the blacktop*

Greg: If you touch that cheese, you become super-popular. I've seen it happen. It's like magic!

Rodrick: Then why haven't you touched it?

Greg: Um, I did. A while ago.

Rodrick: Touch it again.

Greg: *taps it quickly* Hey, Rodrick.

Rodrick: Huh?

Greg: *pokes Rodrick* Cheese Touch! *crosses his fingers*

Rodrick: I may not be able to give you the Cheese Touch, but I can still KILL YOU! *chases Greg away*

GH: Rodrick, get back here! You are the last dare for today!

Rodrick: One second.

_Two hours later_

Rodrick- I dare you to do Caramelldansen, oh, and by the way, that was most definitely NOT one second.

Greg: *snags Rodrick's video camera, deleting the Single Ladies video and starting a new one*

Rodrick: Well, might as well get this over with.

VG23: I'll get the music on for you! *reattaches iPod to the speaker*

Rodrick: *does Caramelldansen unhappily*

Greg: *runs off to post the video on YouTube*

Rodrick: *runs off to hide in his room in shame*

**Thanks to: lobster raven22, dingo gone gone gone 390, and KatoFan15 for contributing to the first non-my-truths/dares-included-chapter! But wait... there's more! Click the button for Chapter Four! (That was really cheesy, sorry. I mean, it even rhymed!)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, this is a double chapter dedicated to luvver computer for giving me ten (yes, TEN) truths/dares, and they weren't all dares. A lot were good truths. So, more details on the truths/dares contest: Whoever gets the most amount of truths/dares in their review will get a chapter dedicated to them, and fifteen or more dares will get three or more chapters all to themselves. So review and set a record! Luvver Computer is the first to set it. I'll keep it on my profile for those who want to see it. I don't own Diary of a Wimpy Kid characters, the dares/truths, or Syntax/No Doubt lyrics of any awesome kind (wait and see).**

All of these truths/dares are luvver computer's. Oh, you're free to break the record again, luvver computer!

Greg- I ask you-

Greg: It wasn't me, I swear! Manny posted that Caramelldansen video! Promise!

Rodrick: WHAT? *runs off to check youtube*

GH: *sighs* As I was _saying_,

Greg- I ask you, would you beat up Rodrick again, even if it meant an 8-week grounding?

Greg: Probably… depends if I wasn't allowed video games or not.

GH: No video games.

Greg: Not on your sweet life, luvver computer! That's two months!

Holly- I-

Holly: No purses in trash cans!

GH: It's not a dare! And the next person who freaking interrupts me will be in big dare trouble! Now SHUT UP!

Holly- I _ask _you, do you like Greg back?

Holly: What? No. Wait, _back?_ Greg! *stares accusingly at Greg*

Greg: Sorry, gotta go. *runs away from Rodrick, who is trying to kill him with the laptop*

GH: Hey, I need that! Sure I have backups, but I haven't updated my backup thingy for a while! Plus my sister will kill me if I lose all her annoying stuff (I don't really care though.)

Rodrick: *hands laptop back and then starts throwing rocks at Greg*

GH: I give up. Next!

Mrs. Heffley: I ask you, would you give up Greg for a million bucks?

Mrs. Heffley: Um, no! He's my ba-

Manny: *stares at his mom*

Mrs. Heffley: -second baby. Heh heh.

Mr. Heffley- I ask you, do you love your civil war toys more than your family?

Mr. Heffley: One, they are figurines, not toys. And two, no. Though, admittedly, the figurines don't take up a lot of space, and they don't make me watch romance movies, and they don't eat up money like it's candy, and… Oh, of course I love my family more!

Mrs. Heffley, Greg, Manny, and Rodrick: *stare at Mr. Heffley threateningly, as they have done since the truth started*

Rodrick- I ask you, do you love Greg as a brother?

Rodrick: Yeah, sure. DIE, GREG SCUM! *chases Greg with a chair*

GH: Hm, I wonder where he got that. It looks familia- Rodrick, give me that chair! You took it from my family's dining room!

Greg- I dare you to tell the whole school that you have a diary.

Greg: Great, underwear, now this? Why does everyone hate me so?

Rodrick: Because it's funny to watch you suffer.

Greg: Hey!

GH: Greg, move it. You've got a diary to announce.

Greg: *****goes to where his school is and stands up before everyone reluctantly* Hello, I have a journal that people think is a diary!

School: *falls over laughing*

Greg: My reputation!

GH: *looks around confusedly* What reputation? You had a reputation?

Holly- I dare you to kiss Greg for five seconds.

Greg: Yay! Finally I get some happiness!

Holly: Oh, gross. Fine. *applies 50 protective layers of lipstick that are also helping her stall*

GH: Okay, I hired a narrator for this part.

Narrator: Holly slowly approached Greg, shut her eyes, and kissed him. One, two, three, four, fiiiiiive! Holly then sprinted awa-

GH: Okay, you can shut up now.

Narrator: *looks offended*

Holly: *-y, screaming* I'm going to wash my mouth with soap for an hour!

Greg: *sighs* I'm never going to wash my mouth again.

Mrs. Heffley- I da-

Mrs. Heffley: Yes, I would give Rodrick up for a million dollars! Forgive me!

GH: You just made it worse.

Mrs. Heffley- I dare you to strip to bra and panties, then stay that way until the dare-a-thon is over. And, extra punishment is… You have to do Caramelldansen for one song!

Mrs. Heffley: *does as asked*

Mrs. Heffley: *does Caramelldansen to, strangely, the music of Love Song (I Wonder Why)*

GH: This is like one of the best songs ever! _Tell the world that I grew up, I wonder why._ Go Syntax! _Danger I feel inside_... Oh. Uh... sorry? Oh! It's Bliss! _There was a time when we were cradled one on one... _I don't understand it either, but who cares?

Greg: I'm scarred for life.

Rodrick: Ditto.

Manny: Me too!

Rodrick: And not just from GH singing, although that was terrifying. I'll never be able to look at my mother the same way again.

Greg: Ditto.

Manny: Me too!

GH: _Give me fever, running deep…_ More Syntax! Oh, Mrs. Heffley, you can stop dancing now. You're needed for the next dare…

Mrs. Heffley- I dare you to sing a song for Rodrick's band.

Mrs. Heffley: No need to dare! *boots Bill happily off a newly materialized stage*

GH: Alright, let's go!

Mrs. Heffley: *sings badly*

Rodrick: *drums badly*

Guitarist that has no name at the moment: *strums badly*

Band: *plays badly*

Everyone that isn't onstage or GreekHuntress: *rolls around on floor trying to cover their ears*

GH: *stands there with a big smile on her face, listening to her iPod*

Band: *finishes song*

GH: _Don't speak! I know just what you're saying, so please stop explaining... _Next! _Don't tell me cause it hurts..._

Rodrick- I dare you to let Greg pour a smoothie over your head and stay that way for the entire next chapter.

Rodrick: Just get it over with.

Greg: *takes a smoothie and slowly dumps it over Rodrick's head gleefully* Yes!

Rodrick: Wait. The entire _next _chapter?

**So, yeah. The songs were Love Song (I Wonder Why), Bliss, and Fever by Syntax, and Don't Speak by No Doubt. Looove those songs!**


	5. Chapter 0 Part One

**This used to be a notice that I was taking a break from Fanfiction. But I'm back. Sooo...**

**Now it's FUN TIME!**

**Kind of.**

**Do whatever you want. It's not like the fanfiction's going anywhere (unless you lose Internet access.) See you soon!**

**GreekHuntress**


	6. Chapter 0 Part Two

**This used to be a notice that I was coming back from my break. But, again, I'm back. Sooo...**

**Now it's FUN TIME PART TWO!**

**Kind of.**

**Do whatever you want. It's not like the fanfiction's going anywhere (unless you drop the computer off a cliff.) See you soon!**

**GreekHuntress**


	7. Chapter 5

**Yeah, we're back from Fun Time. Oh well. Don't own The Lonely by Christina Perri.**

Both of these truths are from RodrickRules.

Everyone- I ask you, what is the most horrible or embarrassing thing to happen to you, ever?

Greg: Uh, probably when Rodrick tricked me into thinking it was Pajama Day at school, or when Rodrick made me think I slept through summer, or when Rodrick—

GH: Okay, that's enough. We get it. Rodrick?

Rodrick: Umm… when Mom danced at our talent show and messed up any chance of us winning?

GH: Dad?

Dad: When I was about to do something funny in front of the Snella's new baby, the anticipation was horrible.

Greg: Oh, also it was horrible when everyone saw my underwear at that party.

GH: Shut up, Greg. Mom?

Mom: I'm not sure. It was embarrassing when in fifth grade, I accidentally fell off my chair and knocked down an unstable desk, which then—

GH: Okay, okay! Umm, Manny?

Manny: Horrible thing was when Daddy threw Tingy away.

GH: Rowley, it's obvious, but…?

Rowley: When I _ _ _ the Cheese.

GH: Patty?

Patty: I think it's coming up…

GH: Holly?

Holly: When you made me throw my purse away.

GH: Umm, heh heh heh… We could go on, but let's not.

Rodrick- I ask you, what is the best prank you've ever played on Greg?

Rodrick: Oooh, that's hard… It might be when I told him that it was Pajama Day at school, or when I made him think that he slept through summer, or the time when I locked him outside the hotel room in just his underwear, or… *goes on and on without stopping*

GH: Okay, let's move on.

megawoman 5210 had one dare.

Patty- I dare you to kiss Greg for how long the author decides… Oh wait, that's me! Cool! So, for a minute. One whole minute. Muahaha!

Patty: I cannot do this. Bye. *tries to run*

GH: Oh no you don't! *uses the Force to bring Patty back*

Patty: *grumbles*

Patty: *kisses Greg*

GH: *starts stopwatch*

Patty: *can't do it any longer after ten seconds*

Patty: *dies*

Patty: *not really*

GH: She just fainted. She'll wake up in a while. Long enough for me to run! But… time to move on!

I have two spots to fill in, sooo… I have two dares!

Fregley- I dare you to dance while Greg films it and puts it on Youtube.

Fregley: I need music!

GH: Got that covered! *plugs iPod into speaker*

Speaker: _I'm the ghost of a girl that I want to be most, and the shell of a girl that I used to know well… Dancing slowly in an empty room, can the lonely take the place of you? I sing myself a quiet lullaby, let you go and let the lonely in, to take my heart again…_

GH: Whoa, wrong song! *pauses music and searches for the right song*

GH: Here we go!

Speaker: _He was a boy, she was a girl, could I make it any more obvious?_

Fregley: *dances to Sk8er Boi so horribly that everyone has to look away or be blind forever*

GH: It's a crime against Avril Lavigne!

Greg: *runs off to post his video on Youtube*

Fregley: *keeps dancing*

GH: *knocks Fregley out with her iPod*

GH: Oh yeah, I don't own Sk8er Boi either, Avril does.

Rodrick- I dare you to dress up in a pink strapless dress with matching makeup and dance for a video to be posted on Youtube, because I'm mean like that.

Rodrick: *fakes dying*

GH: *rolls eyes*

Rodrick: *grumbles and gets up*

Rodrick: *changes into dress and has mom apply makeup*

Greg: *comes back with video camera*

Greg: *starts video*

Rodrick: *dances*

Everyone except for Rodrick: *laughs their heads off but silently so Rodrick won't kill them*

Greg: *****runs off to post video*

GH: *wonders why everything is being done in mime*

GH: Okay, see you later! Muahaha… I got Patty kissing Greg on video… muahaha.

**I'll be back soon! As in you click the button soon... yeah.**


	8. Chapter 6

**PrincessBijou PrinceHamtaro beat 10 truths/dares with 15! Three chapters, all to yourself, PrincessBijou PrinceHamtaro! And since your pen name is kind of long, I hope it's OK if I call you PBPH for now. Let me know if you don't like that.**

**AAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL of these are PBPH's by the way. For three (yes, three) whole chapters. OK?**

Rodrick- I dare you to burn your drum set.

Rodrick: _passes __out_

GH: I'm rolling my eyes, Rodrick. Here are some matches.

Rodrick: _wakes __up __when __GreekHuntress __throws __a __bucket __of __ice __water __on __him_

Rodrick: _sadly __strikes __the __match __and __closes __his __eyes __as __he __drops __the __flaming __match __onto __his __drum set, __which __slowly __but __surely __catches __fire, __and __then__—_

GH: Shut up, dramatic italics voice.

Rodrick: *runs off crying*

Greg: *passes out from laughter*

GH: *eyes widen in realization* Rodrick get back here! You're needed for the next truth!

GH two hours later: Okay, we can do the next one now.

Rodrick- I ask you, why do you hate Greg?

Rodrick: *sniffles* I don't hate him, I enjoy tormenting him.

Greg- I ask you, why do you think you could be popular?

Greg: Because I'm awesome. Why else?

Rowley- I ask you, do you ever get tired of being Greg's friend?

Rowley: Zzzzz… huh? *wakes up from long sleep in corner that was because he wasn't needed for a long time*

GH: *repeats question*

Rowley: Uh, duh—I mean, no! NEVER!

Holly- I ask you, would you rather kiss Greg or Fregley?

Holly (immediately): Greg Greg Greg!

**That's the end of the chapter. Sorry it was short.**


	9. Chapter 7

**Here's the next one!**

Patty- I ask you, why are you so stuck up?

Patty: Uh **(or ****whatever ****that ****huffy ****noise ****girls ****make ****when ****they****'****re ****mad ****is)**! I am not stuck up!

GH: *shrugs* Let's move on, shall we? *looks at list* Crud. I forgot that was next.

Holly- I dare you (It's not really me!) to… uh… emm…. burn your purse?

Holly: *turns into a crazy screaming human tornado for ten hours and demolishes everything, even GreekHuntress' iPod*

Holly: *notices her purse is gone*

Holly: *looks over to see the wasteland she left behind her and a trash can with her purse inside it, burning to keep everyone else warm*

Holly: *passes out*

Manny- I ask you, do you ever feel bad about telling on Greg?

Manny: What? I'm onwy thwee!

Greg: *glares at Manny*

Okay, Rodrick- I dare you to let Greg give you a Wet Willie.

Rodrick: No.

Greg: Chicken.

GH: Have to agree with Greg.

Rodrick: I'm not doing it.

GH: Rodrick. *presses fingers to temples and closes her eyes* You _will_ let Greg give you a Wet Willie.

Rodrick: *robotically offers his ear to Greg*

GH: *runs for it so that you don't know what happens next*

Rodrick: *probably comes out of trance and chases GreekHuntress*

_About an hour later, once Rodrick has been successfully knocked out with a chair… uh, I mean, calmed down. Yeah._

Mr. Heffley- I ask you, why do you play with doll- FIGURINES! I said FIGURINES!

Mr Heffley: *wakes up from Rip Van Winkle style sleep and glares* Because I am fascinated with history. Good night. *goes back to sleep*

GH: *shrugs* Let's let him sleep. *pops in protection contacts to save her from the horror of what's coming next chapter*

**See you next chapter!**


	10. Chapter 8

**Here's the next chapter. And last one right now!**

Breathe, GreekHuntress, breathe. You can do this. Okay.

Rowley- I dare you to dance to Baby by Justin Beiber in a baby outfit. Here it is.

Rowley: I don't have the music.

GH: Anybody have Justin Beiber soundtracks?

_peeping cricket noise fills silence_

GH: I didn't want to have to do this, but- *looks up song on laptop*

Laptop: *begins music*

GH: Forgive me, laptop!

Rowley: *wiggles his butt around*

Everyone who doesn't have protection contacts (everyone except GreekHuntress, actually): *passes out*

GreekHuntress: Okay, I'm going to need full-body armor for the next one.

Rodrick- I dare you to… Mommy… uh, I mean, tell Heather Hills that she istheuglieststupidestgirlyou'veevermet! *runs for her life again*

GH (still running): Hold on. I have ESP! Rodrick, you will do what I wanted you to!

Rodrick: *walks over to Heather*

Rodrick (robotically: You are the ugliest, stupidest girl I have ever met.

Heather: *punches Rodrick*

Rodrick: *passes out again*

GH: A note—no dares that mean I have to run for my life, please!

GH: *closes her eyes quickly*

Fregley- I dare you to show everybody… your… secret… freckle.

Fregley: Okay! *shows his stomach*

Everyone except GreekHuntress, who has her eyes closed, and Rodrick, who is already passed out: *passes out*

_When everyone has woken up…_

Manny- I ask you, who do you love more, Bubby or Rodrick?

Manny: BUBBY! *grabs Greg's leg and sticks like glue*

Greg: *keeps trying to shake Manny off for the duration of the chapter*

Greg and Rodrick- I dare you to say the longest cuss word you know, without changing it!

Greg: Uhh…

Rodrick: *says a word so long and bad, I'm not allowed to print it*

Greg: *winces* Mmm… m!th!rf!ck!r

Mrs. Heffley: *drags Greg and Rodrick away to wash their mouths out with soap*

**All done! Thank you again, PrincessBijou PrinceHamtaro!**


	11. Chapter 9

**Okay, Merry Christmas! Insert Name Here, thanks for reviewing, but please be a little less rude next time. And I'm saving Phantom Novelest for last because everyone dies in that one. It'll take me a while to resurrect them.**

megawoman 5210 had one dare.

Heather Hills- I dare you to kiss Rodrick for how long the author—that's ME!—decides. I decide… fifteen seconds! That'll be long enough for me to escape—uh. For me to turn on the computer… heh heh.

Heather: Never in a million years.

GH: *uses awesome ESP* You will kiss Rodrick for fifteen seconds…

Heather: I will kiss Rodrick for fifteen seconds…

Rodrick: PAAAARTY!

GH: I hired the narrator again… I thought it was easier.

Narrator: The two teens leaned towards each other, Rodrick looking eager. Their lips touched, and for fifteen seconds held. Then, suddenly, GreekHuntress screamed—

GH: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Everyone except Heather: *runs for their lives*

Heather: *passes out*

GH: Never mind.

Insert Name Here had three dares.

Mrs. Heffley- I dare you to spank Manny.

Mrs. Heffley (dramatically): Forgive me, Mannykins! *whacks Manny's backside*

Manny: !

Mr. and Mrs. Heffley (after everyone has gotten their hearing back)- I dare you to give Greg whatever he wants.

Greg: I want this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game and this video game…

Mr. and Mrs. Heffley: *accidentally bury Greg in video games, at which point he yells-*

Greg: AND A DELUXE LEATHER ARMCHAIR!

Mr. and Mrs. Heffley- I dare you to punish Rodrick for all the bad things he's done, along with Manny.

Manny: *sits in a timeout until he's five years old while Mrs. Heffley spanks him ten times*

Rodrick: *sits in a timeout until he is twenty-eight years old while watching his drums get thrown away by Mr. Heffley*

Phantom Novelest only had one dare (but it was enough to kill everyone).

Everyone- I dare you all to sing Barney songs.

Everyone: *complains*

GH: Hmm hmm hmm… b-a-r-n-e-y-space-s-o-n-g-s-space-y-o-u-t-u-b-e… hmm hmm hmm… **(Hey, I don't have Barney on my iPod, you know) **Okay, ready?

Everyone (loudly): NO!

GH: Good to hear. Here we go! *hands out microphones and puts her handy sound-blocking headphones on*

Everyone with the music **(I had to look up the lyrics)**: I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too?

Rodrick and friends: *die by choking on words of song*

Greg: *dies of complete reputation demolishment*

Mom and Dad: *die of embarrassment*

All the kids from Greg's school except Rowley: *die of embarrassment*

Everyone besides Rowley and Manny and GreekHuntress and the above mentioned: *die of the music playing*

Rowley: I love you, you love me, we're best friends like friends should be, with a great big—*dies suddenly and unexpectedly*

Manny: Hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too? I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love… me… TOOOOOOO!

GH: *takes off headphones* Is it over? Oh… great. Now I have to bring everyone back to life! That's just wonderful.

Manny: *starts singing again*

GH: *puts her headphones back on just in time* See you next time! I'll probably have tape over Manny's mouth and everyone back alive by then! If not, oh well.

**Again, Merry Christmas! Too bad everyone from the DoaWK series doesn't get to celebrate...**

**Oh yeah, I recorded one last thing for you guys to read… before everyone died.**

_Everyone is standing grumpily together, dressed up in Christmassy clothing. GreekHuntress is standing in front of them with a piano._

GreekHuntress: *plays music*

Everyone else (sings): We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, and a happy New Year! Good tidings we bring, to you and your kin, good tidings for Christmas and a happy New Year!

GreekHuntress: Yeah! Merry Christmas! See you later!

**/**I**\**

/\\

/\\\\

/\\\\\\

**_IIII_**

( )

\ /


	12. Chapter 10

**Hey! I'm back.**

PrincessBijou PrinceHamtaro had 3 dares and 2 truths, thanks for reviewing again!

Rodrick—I dare you to chew on a bar of soap until it's all gone.

Rodrick: What if I die?

GH: Good point, you're needed in more dares… Does anyone have nonpoisonous soap?

GH: No one? Oh well. Rodrick, I'll bring you back later.

Rodrick: Come on!

GH: Here's your soap.

Rodrick: *reluctantly chews on soap. When halfway through, chokes and dies.*

GH: *drags Rodrick's body over into the 'Reanimate Dead Rodrick' corner* He'll be back in a dare or so. After all, it wasn't a Barney song, just some soap.

Holly—I dare you to kiss Greg for as long as the author decides. PBPH is hoping for forever. I'll just do it until Holly dies too.

Holly: I am your humble slave.

GH: Oh yeah. I had to mind control Holly for this. Not so much Greg. Sorry, but I hired the narrator.

Narrator: Again, Greg and Holly romantically kissed. For like, ten seconds. Then Holly died. The end.

GH: Thanks a lot. *drags Holly over to where Rodrick is coming back to life* Rodrick, I'm really sorry. You may die again.

Rodrick: What?

Rodrick—I dare you to sing and dance along to Justin Bieber's song Baby, like Rowley did.

Special guest appearance of PrincessBijou PrinceHamtaro: More JB torture! Yay!

Rodrick: *lunges at PBPH just as PBPH disappears* NOOOO! I was SO CLOSE!

Rodrick: All right. Might as well get it over with.

Greg: *holds up video camera*

Computer:

You know you love me, I know you care

Just shout whenever, and I'll be there

You are my love, you are my heart

And we will never ever ever be apart

Are we an item? Girl, quit playing

We're just friends, what are you saying?

Say there's another and look right in my eyes

My first love broke my heart for the first time

And I was like...

Rodrick: *chokes and dies all of a sudden*

GH: Oh well. *pushes computer off cliff* Don't worry, I borrowed it from Rodrick. He won't care. Uh, well, I don't think he will…

Rodrick: *wakes up in time to see Greg running off to post his new video*

GH: Rodrick, you're needed again!

Rodrick—PrincessBijou PrinceHamtaro asks you, have you had enough of her dares for you?

Rodrick: YES!

GH: There's your answer. Please give me more dares soon about Rodrick!

Rodrick: DON'T!

Greg—I ask you, are you—hey, where's Greg?

GH: Greg?

Greg: *comes into view* Sorry. Here I am.

Greg—I ask you, are you happy at the dares i'm giving Rodrick?

Greg: They're pretty funny, plus I'm getting even more popular on Youtube!

**Well, that's the end of the chapter!**


	13. Chapter 11

**OK, so here's the next chapter! Carol Molliniere, you had a kind of M-rated dare, so I'm going to have to cut that out, sorry. This is not rated M, so I can't have any M stuff in there. This goes for everyone!**

CookieVanDeKamp had a truth, a dare, and a random comment.

Greg—I ask you, what do you think of the theory that Manny is actually a smart kid who is only PRETENDING to be an idiot to get what he wants?

Greg: That's pretty valid.

Manny: I'm onwy thwee!

GH: Yeah right…

Dad—I dare you to let Rowley and Greg jump on a trampoline and ride skateboards near your Civil War battlefield.

GH: *quickly chains Dad to a fire hydrant* OK, let's go. *releases Rowley and Greg*

Greg: *skateboards around the table*

Rowley: *jumps on a trampoline*

Greg: *slips and grabs the Civil War battlefield to steady himself, knocking over half the soldiers and stuff*

Rowley: *bounces off the trampoline with X eyes, saying 'Duh.'* **(Can anyone tell me what book this is from?)**

Dad: NOOOO!

Rowley: *hits the table and demolishes everything*

Dad: *passes out*

GH: And now a special guest appearance by CookieVanDeKamp!

CVDK: Rodrick: I just wanted to say: I love you.

Rodrick: Oo-kay…

Carol Molliniere had two dares.

Carol: I dare you, GreekHuntress, to torture Greg with a whip.

GH: Aww… poor Greg. *whips Greg halfheartedly until he runs away and GH gives up.*

GH: Oh no! I have done child abuse! I am a CRIMINAL!

Rodrick: What did you think you were doing this entire time?

GH: …

Carol: I dare you, Greekhuntress, to throw Rodrick into a pot of boiling oil! If he survives, send him to He!.

GH: Man, and Rodrick's already died like three times so far… everyone hates him.

Rodrick: *falls into a pot of boiling oil*

GH: Here, I'll give you some ice cubes. *drops three ice cubes into pot of boiling oil*

Ice cubes: *do absolutely nothing to help Rodrick, who dies*

GH: Oh well. Sorry, Rodrick. You'll come back later.

**That's the end of the chapter! See you later, and remember, no M-rated dares/truths!**


	14. Chapter 12

**Hey. This chapter is all ItShallBeSo's, because of the five dares that ItShallBeSo submitted. ItShallBeSo actually submitted 14 dares/truths, so ItShallBeSo gets 3 chapters, because I will submit one to make it even. Good job, ItShallBeSo!**

ItShallBeSo had 5 dares (well, more).

Fregley—I dare you to drink 6 cups of coffee (not decaf!) and eat 3 big bags of jelly beans then to get locked in an empty room with Greg for 5 minutes or more, while everyone else watches on a screen.

GH: *frowns* Should I have dared Greg instead?

GH: *shoves Greg into an empty room all by himself at the moment*

Fregley: *eats 6 cups of coffee with the cup included and then pours three giant bags of jelly beans into his mouth and swallows*

Fregley: ! *goes on total sugar rush*

GH: *shoves Fregley into Greg's empty room and locks the door quickly*

Greg (on screen): (just pretend he does this for the rest of the five minutes)

Fregley (on screen): (just pretend he does this for the rest of the five minutes)

Everyone else: *watches entranced*

GH's watch: *beeps*

GH: Oh. I guess we have to let him out now. Cause, you know, he's needed for the next dare.

GH: *peeks into room* Greg died. Dang it!

Fregley: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-*falls over because GreekHuntress hits him in the head with a book*

Greg: *slowly comes back to life* Can I retire?

GH: No.

Greg—I dare you to say who you would rather kiss: Fregley or Sweetie.

GH:… this should be horrifying.

Greg: Sweetie. Definitely.

GH: Oh yeah, there was a second part to the dare. Now you have to kiss whichever one you would rather not kiss. Oh. That's Fregley.

Greg: *commits suicide by jumping in the boiling pot of oil _somebody _forgot to put away last chapter*

GH: Oh well. Sorry, ItShallBeSo, the second part of the dare we can't do right now. It took forever to resurrect Rodrick from the boiling pot of oil in the first place.

Mrs. Heffley—I dare you to go to Greg's school and do everything Greg would do for a day, then tell everyone how it went IN DETAIL, or have someone follow you around, film you and post it on YouTube.

Mrs. Heffley: *dresses in Greg's clothing.

Eats Greg's breakfast.

Drives herself to school.

Walks into school.

Has to get help with Greg's locker.

Falls asleep in math class.

Wishes there was playground equipment at recess.

Tries to get Rowley to be less nerdy for a while before giving up.

Sweats it out at PE.

Announces to the whole school that she is soooo proud of her little Gregkins and then leaves school.*

Mrs. Heffley: I ate breakfast, drove myself to school, walked into school, had to get help with Greg's locker, fell asleep in math class, wished there was playground equipment at recess, tried to get Rowley to be less nerdy for a while before giving up, sweated it out at PE, and announced to the whole school that I am soooo proud of my little Gregkins and then left school.

Mrs. Heffley: Hey, where is everyone?

Everyone: *replays the video on Youtube while laughing*

Greg—I dare you to sing Love Game by Lady Gaga to Heather Hills.

Greg: Whaaat?

Heather Hills: Whaaat?

Computer with Greg: *sings Love Game* **(I was too lazy to look up the lyrics… but I listened to it)**

Heather: AAAAAAUGH! GET AWAY FROM ME!

Greg: *gets humiliated forever*

Fregley—I dare you to ride a horse.

Fregley: Horses are my frieeeeeeends! *attempts to climb onto a newly materialized horse*

Horse: *kicks Fregley in the face and runs away*

Fregley: *falls over*

GH: Actually, a lot more happened, like Fregley moaning in pain. But less is more. Sooo… See you next chapter!

**Yeah. Next chapter is also ItShallBeSo's.**


	15. Chapter 13

**Next chapter's up!**

Rowley—I dare you to act like best friends with Fregley for a week.

Rowley: … Where is Fregley anyways?

GH: Oh… he's in the hospital from the horse kicking him in the face. But he'll be fine soon.

Rowley: Dang it.

_A little while later…_

Fregley: ROWLEY YOU ARE MY FRIEEEEEEEEEEND!

Rowley: Uh… heh heh. Yes I am.

_Five seconds later:_

Rowley: SAVE ME!

_One minute later:_

Rowley: SCREAM! SCREAMSCREAMSCREAM!

_Five minutes later:_

Rowley: !

_Ten minutes later:_

Rowley: *runs as far away from Fregley as humanly possible*

_Fifteen minutes later:_

GH: … I'm going to listen to my iPod.

_Half an hour later:_

GH: *gets a text* It says:

HELP ME! D: D: D: D: SOS SOS SOS! _From Rowley_

GH: Um… well… Yes, I want to delete the text. Thank you.

_An hour later:_

Rowley: *comes back screaming* HELP ME! FREGLEY IS TRYING TO FEED ME HIS TOENAILS COVERED WITH WHIPPED MANGOES!

GH: That is the strangest thing I've ever heard.

Rowley: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I DON'T WANT THE TOENAILS! NO!

GH: Never mind.

_Five hours later:_

GH: *is on top of a chair on top of a TV on top of a table on top of a grand piano on top of a large rock* I wonder if my grandmother will miss this piano.

Rowley: AIEEEEEEEEEE! *runs around large rock screaming loudly*

Fregley: ! *runs around large rock screaming loudly*

_One day later:_

GH: This isn't really going how it's supposed to go. I am currently typing this at the top of a tree, and I'm about to run out of charge

GH: Hey, I'm back. I managed to get my computer charged by dropping a very large rock onto Fregley's head. But he's waking up.

_Five days later:_

GH: SAVE US ALL!

Rowley: SAVE ME FIRST!

Fregley: ME AND MY FRIEEENDS, ME AND MY FRIEEEEEEEEENDS, ME AND MY FRIEEEEEEEENDS ARE PLAYING A GAME! *skips around tree where both GreekHuntress and Rowley are hiding*

Rowley: He's not even doing it right!

_One week later (finally):_

GH: Finally. *makes a tranquilizer gun materialize and shoots Fregley with it*

Fregley: *gets dragged into a cage*

GH: We are now done with this dare. Thank you. *falls out of tree and lands on very comfortable bed, then falls asleep on very comfortable bed*

Greg—I dare you to obey everything Manny says for this entire chapter. OK?

Manny: *smiles evilly* Eat mud, Bubby.

Greg: *eats mud*

Manny: Give me candy, Bubby.

Greg: *gives Manny candy*

GH: Ha ha! This is pretty funny!

Manny: Smash your video games, Bubby!

Greg: NEVER! *runs away screaming*

GH: Well. If he comes back, the dare will continue.

Rodrick—I dare you to wear Mrs Heffley's underwear to school when they are stuffed with toilet roll, and you have to tell everyone you've got a 'Loded Diper' and to wear that at the next concert you do with your band.

GH: As a side note, a talent show is coming up tomorrow.

Rodrick: *does as asked grumpily*

Rodrick: *goes to school*

Everyone: What the heck, Rodrick?

Rodrick: I've got a loaded diaper.

Everyone: !

Rodrick: Talent show time. Shi—

GH: CENSORED!

Rodrick: …

GH: Sorry… I couldn't help myself.

Rodrick: Whatever. Where's Ward and Bill?

Loded Diper: *plays horribly on the Talent Show stage*

Greg: *videotapes it and posts it on Youtube titled 'Rodrick Heffley and the Amazing Loded Diper'*

GH: Hey! Greg, you're back!

Manny: Tell everyone I call you Bubby, Bubby.

Greg: MY BROTHER CALLS ME BUBBY!

Everyone: HA HA HA! LOSER!

GH: Hold your applause—or, well, laughter and stuff. We have another dare.

Rodrick—I dare you to READ—A—_DICTIONARY!_

Rodrick: NO! NONONONONO!

GH: Here.

Rodrick: Grr.

**1****a** _n, pl _**a's **_or _**as **_often cap _**1 : **the first letter of the English alphabet **2 : **a grade that shows a student's work is excellent

GH: By the way, I typed all that. Aren't I just so awesome?

_Many hours later…_

_n _**: **a usually sweetened bread made with eggs that is baked and then sliced and toasted until dry and crisp—

Rodrick: *chokes and dies*

GH: Aww. He only had one word left, too. Oh well. *drags Rodrick into corner* *realizes something* Oh, WAKE UP! RODRICK! YOU'RE NEEDED FOR THE NEXT DARE!

GH: Dang it. He's dead! Well. Manny, pee on him anyway. That was the dare.

Manny: *pees on Rodrick*

GH: When he wakes up, somebody tell him what happened.

**That's the end of the chapter, but the next one will be up in like five seconds.**


	16. Chapter 14

**Hey! Last chapter of ItShallBeSo's! Good job on those 14 dares/truths!**

Mr. Heffley—I dare you to flick a light switch on and off while saying 'lights on lights off lights on lights off' until someone—well, gets too annoyed.

Mr. Heffley: *flicks light switch* _LIGHTS… ON… LIGHTS… OF—_

Rodrick: *decks Mr. Heffley*

GH: Well. That's over. Oh, hey, Rodrick! You're alive! Manny peed on you, by the way.

Rodrick: EW! GROSS! *jumps in bath*

Rowley—I dare you to go to school, write your signature and print your name clearly on a piece of paper and stick it on the back of the strictest teacher there.

Greg: That would be Coach.

Rowley: Dear me. *does as asked*

Coach: Hey, what's this—ROWLEY JEFFERSON!

Rowley: Goodbye. *runs for a while*

Coach: *forgets what it is that he is doing* Let's run at tempo, Jefferson! HUP two three four HUP two three four HUP!

Rowley: Um. Let's move on, shall we?

Heather—I dare you to be blindfolded and walk around the room kissing everybody.

GH: *puts blindfold on Heather before she can resist*

Heather: *walks around room*

Rodrick: *keeps getting in Heather's way so she keeps kissing him*

Greg: *shoves Rodrick out of the way and gets to kiss Heather*

Heather: HEY! Someone stole my gum!

Greg: *runs away chewing gum*

GH: Hey! Anyone know what movie that's from? I'll give you a hint: it's about baseball. And it starts with S-A. :)

Greg—I dare you to go to school wearing a raincoat and to walk on your hands all day.

Greg: Finally! Something not too stressful!

Greg: *puts on a raincoat*

Greg: *tries to walk on his hands*

Greg: *falls over and smashes his face*

Greg: *tries again*

Greg: *same results*

Greg: I'm getting there!

Greg: *tries again*

Greg: *same results*

Greg: I'm getting there!

Greg: *tries again*

Greg: *same results*

Greg: I'm getting there!

Greg: *tries again*

Greg: *same results*

Greg: I'm getting there!

Greg: *tries again*

Greg: *same results*

Greg: I'm getting there!

Greg: *tries again*

Greg: *same results*

Greg: I'm getting there!

Greg: *tries again*

Greg: *same results*

Greg: I'm getting there!

GH: *gets bored and puts iPod in*

GH: Linkin Park, watch your mouth!

GH: You too, Madchild!

Greg: *tries again*

Greg: *same results*

Greg: I'm getting there!

Greg: *tries again*

Greg: *same results*

Greg: I'm getting there!

Greg: *tries again*

Greg: *same results*

Greg: I'm getting there!

GH:… *gets bored again and makes a cliff magically materialize while humming Einstein by Kelly Clarkson*

Greg: *tries again*

Greg: *same results*

Greg: I'm getting the—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! *falls off cliff and dies*

GH: Sorry. Couldn't help myself.

And this one is mine!

Everyone else go out of the room. Now, Rodrick—I dare you to text Holly with romantic texts from Greg's phone. Sign them 'Your Secret Admirer'. By the time you're done, I'll have Greg back.

Rodrick: *starts texting evilly*

_Holly—_

_I love you so much and I will never ever hate you no matter what. Do you love me too? Please say yes._

_Your Secret Admirer_

_Holly—_

_I will never love anyone else as much as I love you. Your beautiful hair the color of… labrador retriever fur and your intelligent eyes like those blue flowers… umm… Bluebells. Yeah._

_Your Secret Admirer_

_Holly—_

_You haven't answered me yet, even though it's been two seconds since I sent the first text. Please tell me if you love me._

_Your Secret Admirer_

Holly: Ew! Greg, you are sooo weird.

_Holly—_

_Will you go out with me? You are the most beautiful girl in the world and I want to date you._

_Your Secret Admirer (Greg Heffley)_

Holly: NOOOOOOOOOOO! I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH YOU, GREG!

Greg (who has finally come back): ?

Holly: NEVER, DO YOU HEAR ME? NEVER!

Greg: ?

Holly: RRRRGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH! I HATE YOU GREG HEFFLEY! *turns into flaming tornado of screaming Holly* I HATE EVERYONE!

*screams profanities*

Everyone: *runs for it*

GH: WATER PLEASE!

Flaming Tornado of Screaming Holly: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I HATE PEOPLE!

GH: I did not think that this would happen. Umm… goodbye.

**See you later! That is, if I make it…**


	17. Chapter 15

**Hey guys, I'm so sorry I haven't been on and posting. I lost all the chapters I was writing. As an apology, here's ten truths/dares with special appearances by Insert Name Here and Iliketurkey123 and also France and Russia from Hetalia!**

GH: Hey! It's nice to see everybody! How are you all! Miss me? I don't think so. After all, I do torture you.

Everyone else: Dang it, she's back.

GH: To start us off, we have a dare from tomboys rule girly girls suck for... Rodrick!

Rodrick—I dare you to ask Patty to marry you, and if she says yes you have to get married and stay married until death or a kid. Death is more likely given the two involved.

Rodrick: This sucks. Hey! I don't have a ring-

GH: Here's one! It's plastic, but don't tell her that. I mean, was I really going to waste a nice ring on Patty?

Rodrick: *goes down on one knee* Uhh... Patty, will you marry me?

Patty: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *breaks ring in half* Um, oops. Was that valuable?

GH: No. Don't worry. Now for a special appearance! Because I really don't think I have those horror films.

Insert Name Here: Hey! I dare Mr. and Mrs. Heffley and Manny to watch all the Friday the 13th movies and all the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. As for the rest of you... *pulls out Transformers movies* TRANSFORMERS!

GH: Ouch.

Insert Name Here: *ties Manny and his parents to chairs and starts the movie marathon*

Manny and parents: SCREAM!

GH: Oh come on. It hasn't even started yet.

Insert Name Here: *****locks everyone else in a room with a TV playing the Transformers movies*

GH: We will return shortly after the movies finish playing. That should take approximately a week. Thank you.

*one week later*

GH: Well, we're done. *unlocks the room and unties Manny and parents*

Rodrick: What's up with that weird guy with the long blond hair next to you?

GH: Oh, that's just France.

France: I have to go annoy Britain. Goodbye. *leaves*

GH: *sigh* Britain will probably try to curse him and fail again. Oh well. Now for the truths/dares of Iliketurkey123!

Chirag- I dare you to be Invisible Chirag for the chapter.

Chirag: Well, crap.

GH: Did someone say something?

Iliketurkey123: *suddenly appears and grabs Greg by the shoulders* Dude you're already famous. You have a LOT of books and 2 movies and in the second one Holly Hills almost likes you and it's simple to know that Movie you and Movie Holly will be going out in the 3rd movie. If you dont believe me I will throw these books at you and the regular movie cases for your 2 movies also in Blu Ray. And I'll send you to meet Movie Greg and Movie Holly Hills.

Greg: Um... okay. Bye.

Iliketurkey123: *disappears*

Holly, I ask you, who's your crush?

Holly: Bryce, even though in Redemption he's a crazy insane guy.

GH: Um... about that...

Bryce: *glares at GH*

Movie Greg—Kill yourself (there's a time machine)

GH: Where's Movie Greg?

Greg: IDK. He disappears sometimes.

GH: Well that sucks. I'm gonna go visit Shakespeare. See you guys later. *enters time machine and disappears*

GH: Hey! How's it going? I'm back! Now for a dare!

Greg—Tell everyone at school you're that guy at the end of Cabin Fever and show the newspaper to everyone

Greg: But I already did! They didn't believe me!

GH: That sucks.

Greg: You're mean.

GH: I know, I know... shouldn't you have picked up on that by this point?

Holly—Fall in love with Greg. The prize is a new purse.

Holly: How on earth do I do that? And if I get a new purse, I'll try to do it.

GH: Beats me. It takes time. Good thing we have that time machine! You guys go hang out and then when you've fallen in love, come back with the time machine.

Holly: See you at the end of the chapter, then... *leaves with Greg and time machine*

Mr. Heffley—Burn your figurines and watch a romance movie.

Mr Heffley: *wakes up from dusty corner in which he lives* What?

GH: *hands him matches* Here, I'll help. *pours gasoline over figurines*

Mr. Heffley: I can't do this!

GH: Sure you can. I'll help more! *takes match, strikes it, and throws it onto figurines*

Figurines: *burn*

Mr. Heffley: NOOOOOOOO!

GH: Now you have to watch a romance movie. *ties screaming Mr. Heffley to chair and puts on The Lucky One*

Mr Heffley: *continues screaming until he passes out from lack of oxygen*

Rodrick—I dare you to become a brother in a monastery and become a priest too.

Rodrick: But... oh fine. *becomes monk and starts preaching*

GH: Well that was easy.

Russia: *appears and waves* Hello, da.

Everyone: *stares*

Russia: Oh, look at the fire. *points to the remains of the figurines, which are still burning*

Russia: I can push you all into the fire and you will all burn slowly to death and your pain will warm my cold hands!

Everyone: Ummm... *stares*

Russia: Just kidding, da. I'll be going now. *disappears*

GH: *puts out fire, just in case*

Holly and Greg: *appear with the time machine looking about a year older* We're in love now!

Holly: *holds knife to GH's throat* Now gimme the purse.

GH: Well, when you put it that way... here you go!

**And that is the end of the chapter! While I'm thinking about it, I might do a Hetalia fanfic soon. Or not. It depends. I discovered Hetalia recently and I love it. :)**


	18. Chapter 16

**Hey! I'm going to go ahead and write all the next chapters I can for this story.**

GH: Insert Name Here sent in a, well, peculiar dare. Here it is verbatim.

I dare Rodrick, Greg, Rowley, and Manny to say to Mom EVERY BAD WORD THAT THEY KNOW! and if she trees to silence them or wash their mouths out, well, *opens curtains revealing a vat of lava and a Manny-sized chair held above it and sitting on the chair is a lava-proof suit* *talks with a hillbilly accent* WE'LL BE EATIN' FRIED MANNY TONIGHT, FOLKS! MM MM GOOD!

GH: So, Rodrick, Greg, Rowley, Manny...

Rodrick: *many very bad words*

Greg: *many very bad words he learned from Rodrick*

Manny: *many very bad words he learned from Rodrick, Greg, and watching R-rated movies late at night secretly*

Rowley: Heck.

Mrs. Heffley: *passes out*

GH: One, this is actually rated K+. And two, Rowley, that's technically not a swear word.

Rowley: My mom says it is.

GH: I feel sorry for you.

GH: PrincessBijou PrinceHamtaro gave us some more truths/dares too! I'm going to give her a special guest appearance-

Rodrick: Muahahaha... revenge...

GH:-after Rodrick does a dare.

Rodrick: Um... okay...

Rodrick—Apologize to PrincessBijou PrinceHamtaro and never try to kill her again.

Rodrick: But... but... I was going to... but... Fine. *looks at knife being held to his throat by GreekHuntress* I'm sorry, PrincessBijou PrinceHamtaro. I promise to never try to hurt or kill you again.

GH: Okay! Now for the guest appearance!

PrincessBijou PrinceHamtaro: *appears* More Rodrick torture! Hooray! *disappears*

Rodrick: I am not happy.

GH: You shouldn't be. The other two dares and the truth are all for you.

Rodrick: Now I'm really not happy.

GH: If I told you there was a spider on your head-

Rodrick: AAAAAAAAAAAIEEEEEEEEEEEE!

GH: His day just keeps getting worse and worse, doesn't it? Once when I was relaxing in the bath, I grabbed a washcloth and when I looked at it closely (unfortunately, after wiping my face) I found a spider on it. So much for relaxing.

Rodrick: *hits himself in the head with Chirag*

Chirag: Hey!

GH: Time for the truth!

Rodrick, I ask you: Would you really attack PrincessBijou PrinceHamtaro? (Special message from her: I'm a girl, dude!)

Rodrick: Well, seeing as she tortures me the most and delights in it, yes. I would. I'm not chivalrous, you know...

Heather: Oh no! Help! Save me from the crazy murderer! Ahhhh!

Rodrick: I'll save you, helpless maiden!

Heather: Just kidding.

Rodrick: Oops...

GH: Hey. I need to write another chapter, maybe two after this. So shut up and let me say the dares. Or I'll use that lava pit Insert Name Here so kindly sent to us.

Everyone: *shuts up*

Rodrick—Wear a diaper and bib and drink from a bottle for the rest of the... story.

Rodrick: WAAAAAAAAAAAH! NO!

GH: You already sound like one...

Rodrick: Well, crap. I REFUSE THE DARE! THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY!

GH: … *snaps fingers*

Rodrick: *watches diaper, bib, and bottle materialize on him*

GH: I control this realm! You cannot resist me!

Rodrick: Shut up.

GH: You will absolutely love the next dare, judging by the way you reacted to this one.

Rodrick: I hate you.

GH: I hate you too, Rodrick.

Rodrick—Let Greg take a video of you eating baby food and talking like a baby and then post it on the convenient Youtube.

Rodrick: Hey, guess what. I wrote a poem for you and PrincessBijou PrinceHamtaro.

_GreekHuntress, I really really hate you_

_And I hate PrincessBijou PrinceHamtaro too_

_Because you are so evil_

_And I couldn't find a rhyme for evil_

_I wish that I could kill both of you_

_Because you're really not cool_

__

GH: Poetry isn't really his strong suit, is it? Now, here's a video camera for you, Greg, and a can of baby food for you, Rodrick... hmm hmm.

Greg: *sets up video camera*

Rodrick: *starts eating baby food, which is something slimy and green* Uhhh... ga ga. Gee hu tiss meen. Gee hu tiss meen.

GH: Hey! Say, like, ga ga instead.

Rodrick: *chokes on baby food* Pih sess bishoo pins ha taro meen.

GH: Stop that!

Rodrick: *starts coughing and choking*

Rodrick: *dies*

GH: He seems to do that a lot, doesn't he?

**And that's the end of the chapter! I deliberately made that poem very crappy XD**


	19. I'm sorry

***THIS IS NOT A NEW CHAPTER***I'M SORRY***

I already said this on my profile, but I'm going to stop updating. It's been ages, and on at least one of my stories, people are asking me to update, I know. But I really have no inclination to continue any of my stories. I still read Diary of a Wimpy Kid, but I've kind of fallen out of the fandom. As for Maximum Ride, I kind of just stopped after the series ended, because to be honest, the ending was terrible. I'm sorry, I know some of you guys actually liked my stories (I've been rereading them and ugh, younger self, how did you even?). I might come back someday, delete everything, and restart. I'm not sure yet.

I'm sorry I left you guys hanging, too-I just, like, stopped updating and didn't say anything about it.

Also, please don't leave hate reviews. They're not going to affect me.

Thanks for reading my stories, if you did. Bye.

-GreekHuntress

(And I would delete, but I'm not sure if it's possible, or if it is, how to do it.)


End file.
